Sam and Phil Blog

Whole family on the television talking about Surrogacy In Australia

2011-11-08T15:05:00.001+11:00

Just thought I would post a link of the whole family on Channel 'Sunrise' Morning Television yesterday,

here is the link

http://au.tv.yahoo.com/sunrise/video/-/watch/27174926/

it all went well,
enjoy

P xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hello all!

2011-10-04T09:55:00.000+11:00

Last night the girls slept from 7pm till 7am, absolute heaven! To celebrate this new stage I thought I would give the blog some attention and let everyone know how we are getting on! We are both loving family life. The girls are healthy and happy and pretty full days, spend a hour or two with Sam every morning for play before he goes to work, and then I take over till about 6pm. Really love being Stay at home Dad. Joined a mothers group and we meet up every wednesday at a cafe, made some great new friends. Still pumping out the dinner parties once a week, and going on the odd adventure. Life is good, we feel so blessed with our girls!

Here is some pics.

Sam and Zoe playing Aeroplane

Happy Chickens

Fathers Day 2011

Dad and Mum snuggling the grandkids

Sam Ruby and I

Little Ruby, she will run the house one day!

Sam and Ruby Fathers Day Picnic

Me being a good housewife, cooking my first cake. Sam's Birthday Cake to be exact (a bit droopy in the middle, but tasted yummy)

Zoe and Ruby being Studious!

Little Zoe Happy Snook!

We are Home!

2011-08-16T09:16:00.000+10:00

Well been home for a few weeks to be exact in Melbourne. I guess the first thing to get ignored when you come home is the blog. Here are some pics of what's been going on, and great to finally have a routine of which we all abide by. Nursery is coming together and the girls are snug, sleeping well and all is good.

Washing Up will never be the same again!!!!

Girls meet Uncle Peter

From Summer Monsoon to Winter Wonderland the girls have outfits to suit!

Our Cat 'Squid' getting aquatinted

I am trying to master the art of automatic feeding for those busy period, nothing beats one on one bottle feeding though!

Double tiger in tree!

Sam having a laugh feeding Ruby

Me and Zoe

New Modern Family

Still keeping the dinner party tradition alive trying to pull off one every two weeks!

Feed time!!!!!!!

Naming Ceremony On the Ganges River

2011-07-22T22:39:00.001+10:00

Well being based on India's holiest river we thought it appropriate to have a blessing and naming ceremony. Conducted by a local Swamy (Holy Man), it took about an hour, we were taken to the Ganges through a forested path that was absolutely filled with yellow butterflies. Then based ourselves in the shade next to the river, while the Swanee brought out sticks, herbs, powered colours and oils and proceeded to build a fire. Thru a translator we were asked to join and while he read Hindi text from the book, every so often we added a mixture of oiled sawdust to the fire and chant a rehearsed word. Red strings were tied around our wrists with a dot applied to our foreheads.

Then we proceeded down to the river side and they girls were dipped in the chilly Ganges, and blessed.

This was such a wonderful thing to do!!!!!!!!!

here are the pics.

Rishikesh Himalayan Trek

2011-07-22T09:40:00.003+10:00

With all paperwork and health checks AOK and having four days to spare before we fly home, we decided to take the little ones up to Rishikesh at the gate of the Himalayas. We stayed at the Himalayan Hideaway and good to get fresh air and escape the delhi pollution. Here are some shots from the girls first (and ours) Himalayan adventure on the ganges!

Tomorrow we have arrange a naming ceremony and blessing on/in the ganges with a Swamee, so pics coming up!

S+P xxxx

check out the pollution (this is at Delhi Railway Station)!

Sam and the porters.

Giving the babies a feed on the train.

Pilgrims from all over India coming together for Holy Festival at Rishikesh!

Sam feeding Ruby on the go!

The Himalayan Hideaway (looks inviting!!!)

Our home for the next four days, this place has the most amazing food!

View of the Ganges from our balcony! The river is 15 metres deep and has a very strong current especially in Monsoon period.

Balcony

Our cottage

Girls having a snooze and enjoying the Monsoon Rains pelting on the roof!

Sam, the girls and I at the start of our little Ganges Trek

Beautiful Bridge over the Ganges River

Sam with our Guide

Himalayan Ambulance, (four men and a bed frame),the kid had a broken leg.

Altitude increasing 2 hours in and getting puffed.

Sam with some kids from the mountain top village

Nearly back to the Bridge were we started.

New photo's, news and adventures!

2011-07-15T00:26:00.002+10:00

Hi All.

Please to say we have the all clear from Consulate and Doctors to come home! Alas can't bring plane tickets forward, so now we are escaping manic Delhi and heading to Rishikesh to flirt with the Himalayas and snuggle up to the ganges. A Holy City, home of Yoga and no booze. Eeek! The views are meant to be amazing and it will be nice to finally get out of this hotel room and have a change of scenery!

Apart from some dry skin, the girls are coming along just fine, had their second check up with doctor yesterday and his is happy. Both of them have put on weight. Which is a relief!

I must say the level of readjustment has been rapid and extreme. We both love our little girls so much, they are so gorgeous..... and different! Zoe is the chill queen, lots of snoozes, snuggles and not very demanding until it is absolutely essential. Ruby is very demanding, everyone stops when she wants something and loves to be the centre of the action. A funny balance.

Getting use to the lack of sleep too, our dependency on nurses have started to lessen (once every four days or so). Both of us now handling elements of night shift and getting it down to a fine art, well for this stage anyhow.

Pics and news from Rishekish coming soon!

In the Atrium at the Imperial Hotel in Delhi with the Bakers from Melbourne, have just notice that Josh Baker is wearing the same outfit as me, and doing similar manoeuvres. Had a great night!

Josh Rebecca Me and Micheal

Sam and I in front of one of the many orchid flower displays in the Imperial Hotel,

one orchid in tiny little vases times hundreds, the halls and foyer smelt amazing.

Like this photo, killing time before the car picks us up, a great night had by all!

Sam giving Ruby a bath

Girls have a pool party every second day on the rooftop.

Ruby and Zoe chilling with some humid Delhi temperatures and have a cool off shower every hour,

Sam working in the distance!

Born to lounge next to Papa!

Sam cooling the girls down

Sam reading the girls a story

Ah Hotel lifestyle, three weeks gets a bit much for two adults and twin girls. The walls are closing in, Cable television a slight comfort.

Outside the Foreigners Registration and Review office, the girls having a snooze on top of the car catching what little breeze there was. Glad to say today we are all approved to go home!

Some photo's for you

2011-07-07T21:37:00.001+10:00

Adam and Philip from the UK bought the girls some gorgeous outfits (thank you boys!!),

so put the outfits on and did a photo session this morning after breakfast.

All going well here, steady as she goes!

P xxxx

Great News

2011-07-04T13:36:00.005+10:00

I found my camera (side pocket of the baby bag). So here is a lot of pictures of the last few days. Girls doing just fine, all good here!

We are definitely getting the hang of it (at the moment) and a little less reliant on the nurses!

SCI and Svelte Hotel have been great!

Sam Phil xxxxxxxx

Jeja, Ruth, the girls and Sam

The Bakers with Ruby

Me giving Ruby a feed.

Zoe having a wail.

Sam with Tulpi, Luca and Ajay

Melissa having a snuggle with Ruby

gorgeous!

Sam was asleep so I gave him a few bed companions!!

Occupants of the Svelte Hotel, all at different stages on the journey with SCI
(LtoR) Ben, Sam, Phil, Michael, Bec and Josh

The Bakers from Melbourne

Merry Times

Zoe and I

Hanging out at Home

Hi Everyone

2011-07-01T23:40:00.001+10:00

Well please to announce we did our first day on our own today with no nurse, and did just fine! A few days ago we came back to the hotel, we have had around the clock care for 36 hours to educate and let us sink into it. Now we are going to cover the daytime when possibles and keep the night nurse from 8pm to 8am. The nurses have been really good!

Went to the doctor today and things looking good, both babies in good health, Zoe has a tear duct that needs a bit of rubbing and encouragement to unblock and Ruby has a bit of a cold. Both feeding well and sleeping well.

We are just loving being parents!

Some bad news is I have lost my camera, (could be in the room or anywhere in Delhi) so no photo updates at the moment, hope it turns up!!!!!

The girls are just fabulous.

Love to all

Sam and Phil xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Back at the Hotel

2011-06-30T13:35:00.001+10:00

Finally got the all clear to go back to the Hotel,

so much better to have them here.

Our Australian friends (Bec and Michael ), decorated our room with balloons, Champagne and pink things to welcome the girls home. Which was fantastic. Had a little homecoming party to celebrate!

The bonding continues, little personalities popping out already.

we have help from nurses 24hrs a day to help us do the right thing and get our confidence up!

Burping, Feeding, Pooing its all happening.

Life is good…….

S + P xxxxxxx

Finally all together In the Hospital

2011-06-29T10:59:00.002+10:00

On the second day we spent 2 hours with the girls. Finally got to meet Ruby, just gorgeous. So cute! Had a nurse today training us how to feed with the bottle (you really have to shove it in!), and change nappys! So all good on that front. Great to just be with them both today.

Born Monday 27th June, out of the hospital later today on Wednesday 29th June.

Here are some pics!!!!!

Group pic is some of the new friends we have met whilst in Delhi.

From Left to Right Sam, Mike, Eric, Phil, Josh, Bec and Michael.

Time with Zoe

2011-06-27T22:41:00.000+10:00

Gorgeous little thing!

Finally got to be with Zoe in the afternoon.

Well hello little Miss!

Our beautiful second baby is born!

2011-06-27T22:16:00.001+10:00

Let there be pink! Its another girl!!!!!

Introducing

Ruby Milla Everingham

27th June, 2011

Born 3.27pm

Caesarean

3.6 Kg

Once again 5m through the glass, healthy and we are so very proud.
Tomorrow we get to cuddle both of them together as a family .

Happy Parents Here

S+P xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Welcome to the World !!!!!!!

2011-06-27T14:57:00.000+10:00

Our gorgeous little girl

Zoe June Everingham

Born 27^th June, 2011 8.55am

Caesarean

3.28 kg

Very Proud and Happy Parents here!

She is in good health, everything is normal.

Zoe will be under medical monitoring for the next six hours,

after that we are allowed physical contact! Just can't wait...........

For now she is 5 metres away, behind glass.

Next Birth expected later this afternoon!

A great start to a very wonderful day indeed!

lol

S + P xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Can't Sleep!

2011-06-26T15:28:00.004+10:00

Tomorrow is the day the babies will be born!!
surreal..... yes
excited...... yes
organised.... not entirely
ready for a cuddle....... absolutely.

Not sure if they will have a C-section or natural, I guess its up to the Doctors and Surrogates to decide.

To monitor their condition, the little ones will probably be in the hospital for a few days, it is not instant. When they finally leave the hospital, the hotel will supply a cot for us which is nice. Also SCI will organise a nurse to give us a hand to groove into it and make sure we do the right thing. Unfortunately the little pumpkins do not come with one manual.

Already both of us are starting to philosophise on rearing practices, 'we will do this, won't do that etc etc', but i think we both secretly still stick to my favourite one 'whatever works'! We will see.......

Sharing the journey with some lovely people over here, Dinner, Day trips and Drinks! Made some good new friends from all walks of life.

Hopefully Photo's and Big News tomorrow. Our family will have doubled in size.

love to all and thank you for your messages of support

Sam and Phil xxxxxxxxxxx

Here we go.... !!!!!!!

2011-06-25T19:01:00.000+10:00

One of the surrogates is having mild contractions!!

Exciting times ahead!

will keep you posted!

S+P xxxx

Back in Delhi!

2011-06-22T19:58:00.000+10:00

Hi Everyone.

Luckily we flew out 2 hours before the Chilean Ash Cloud hit Melbourne again (all flights have been grounded now), we arrived in Delhi late last night. Staying at the Hotel Svelte, which is conveniently built right on top of Delhi's biggest shopping mall Select City Walk, (where you want for nothing). Supermarkets, three baby stores, fashion, restaurants, cinemas etc etc.
This is our fourth trip to this mega city and we have gone for the completely modern, totally western existence, as apposed to the more cultural experience of trips gone by.

Had a chat to Dr Shivani today, and both little bubs and surrogates doing well. We are expecting a birth or two next week, so just settling in for now and giving that rooftop pool a workout!!!! Calm before the tsunami me thinks.

Have a few people to catch up with while we are here.
If anyone is in Delhi, love to catch up, do lunch/dinner or just chat, please get in contact.

Love to everyone out there at home and around the globe,

Sam and Phil xxx

Not long Now!

2011-06-06T09:17:00.000+10:00

Hi Everyone,

well leaving for Delhi on the 21st, accommodation all booked and ready to roll.
One of the surrogates went into hospital with heavy contractions last week, but with medication and care this all settled down. She is now doing fine and home again. Only mentioning the other day our little ones may be full term this time and it's going to be so good to have fat little budda's!!!
Nursery still in disarray, and a few more things to purchase (like a car to fit the whole family) but overall we are gearing up and ready. Will post pics and give updates of course.

Getting excited

love to all

Sam and Phil xxx

Hi Everyone

2011-04-14T22:07:00.001+10:00

Baby One

Baby Two

We are still here, and 2011 has brought great gifts, little bubs at 27 weeks now. This time we have one baby growing in each surrogate. Both are due late June. Please find attached photos of them, judging by the photo's, (already they look gorgeous!) I think its a boy (baby 1) and a girl (Baby 2), won't know till they pop out.

Sam has been getting quite involved in the Surrogacy community, which is under alot of debate here in Australia. If you would like to see him chat about our journey on television. Here is the link.

http://news.sbs.com.au/insight/episode/index/id/357/Baby-Business#watchonline

He did a good job holding it together like that very proud!

All the best to everyone out there and hope your 2011 is shaping up and looking as good and hopeful as ours. We keep you posted over the next few months.

Sam and Phil xxxxxxxx

Good News

2011-01-18T16:56:00.000+11:00

Just thought I would let you all know, we now have two little ones at 14 weeks each. This time we have two surrogates in India with Dr Shivani with one baby in each. So steady as she goes, hopefully by the start of July we will have two little additions to the family.

Thank you for all the love and support you gave us in the last twelve months, hoping for smoother ride this time.

All the best for 2011

Sam and Phil xxxxxx

Sam's Eulogy @ Zac and Ben's Memorial Service

2010-09-16T16:49:00.000+10:00

I just thought I would post Sam's Eulogy from the service. He stood up and read it out and it was beautiful.

Life is starting to look a little brighter now for us, the boys are at rest finally and spring couldn't of come at a better time. Love to all Phil xx

As you all know, Phil & I have come to realize we’re a family-oriented couple, and today marks just one phase in a long journey we have already made to create a family of our own. It’s been a journey of discovery - exploring fostering, co-parenting and surrogacy options both here and around the world.

Meeting families and making friends with some of those who have made that dream a reality has enriched our lives.

Friends went a bit cross-eyed when we explained that Ben & Zac were conceived with the help of an anonymous South African egg donor and an Indian surrogate. While extraordinary, it was only possible given the strength of love Phil & I had for each other.

When the boys came at 27 weeks, amidst the initial grief over Zac’s loss, joy over Ben’s birth and fear about his survival, we experienced an immense pride. Pride in being fathers for the first time.

I’ve always been a fairly self-reliant person, but the last eight weeks have forced me to reach out to friends much more than I usually would.

It’s made me immensely value the love and understanding of both friends and family. Your support and acceptance has helped us no end, particularly in being here today.

Some five weeks ago Phil started a blog to keep people posted on Ben’s struggle. We soon attracted not only our own friends but many dozens of supporters from around the world who had lost babies or were on a similar surrogacy journey - couples from the US, Canada, Sweden, even Israel who followed Ben’s struggle daily, posting messages of hope and empathy.

In Delhi together, there were many times I wished I had more belief in an all powerful God to save Ben. Lying in the neonatal crib, tubes and machines were Ben’s lifeblood. Unable to pick him up, instead we relied on the power of physical touch and our voices. I’ve never had a singing voice but we cobbled together a two-man Philharmonic choir to serenade him with everything from Twinkle Twinkle to Doe Ray Me. We patriotically slipped in Waltzing Matilda via Puff the Magic Dragon and Phil’s favourite Grease track – Look at me, I’m Sandra Dee - as the Hindu nurses stared.

In the short time we got to know Ben, his fighting spirit moved and inspired us. The day before Ben passed away, we were, for the first time, given the chance to kiss him. It was the most magical, rewarding moment of our lives.

After Ben died, Ben’s doctor told us we must come quickly – it was the hot, sticky monsoon season and his hospital had no refrigeration. There was no choice but to bundle Ben up - lay him in our laps and deliver him in our car to the Delhi funeral parlour. We faced an hour-long trip in interminable traffic. As horrific as this sounded, we were in fact comforted. We were finally together as a family, and strengthened by the experience.

In a few short weeks, we learnt the immense responsibility which goes with parenthood, the intensity of love, the sense of helplessness in the face of vast distances and medical problems. Our struggle with Ben and Zac has at times torn us both apart, but more often its brought us closer together.

I’ve come to believe that all of us have an everlasting spirit. It’s a belief that comforts me at times like this. Ben and Zac’s spirits will live on. They will always be our sons.

Thanking you all.

2010-08-21T00:12:00.000+10:00

Thank you everyone for you love and support, it gives us great comfort to read all your messages. The last few days have been tense, emotional, exhausting, loving, hating, anxious, relaxed and completely stressed all rolled into one. The monsoon of Delhi ended up lending a hand, completely flooding the streets, forcing us to stop, take a breath, relax, read and sleep.

After two days filled with paperwork and logistics, we are finally on the home straight. The boys will be cremated in Delhi tomorrow. Next week we will take the ashes back to our hometown of Melbourne where a memorial service will be conducted with family and friends.

I just want to thank the staff at the New Born Centre (where Benjamin stayed for seven weeks) and Dr Shivani, the staff at SCI have been absolutely wonderful looking after us and the boys.

Thank you all out there too.

Phil and Sam xxxx

Rest in Peace our boy Benjamin.

2010-08-18T14:30:00.000+10:00

At 6.30am today, Wednesday 18th August, Benjamin passed away.

He spent an hour with his Dads the night before where we stood and sang every song from our new songbook we printed. He was almost motionless the entire time, like he wasn't there. We each gave him our first and last kiss on the forehead, which was the warmest most heartening & beautiful thing I think both of us has ever experience.

Love you Ben

Very Proud of how far you have come.

Rest in Peace little one.

Your Dads

Sam and Phil

Not so good today

2010-08-16T22:50:00.003+10:00

Met the doctor at the door today, and it seems Bens Kidneys are underdeveloped and has not been producing enough red blood cells to keep him going. Around now they will be giving him a blood transfusion. It was such disheartening news, he looked pale and very tired. Also his stomach has grown again, this time with gas and we are waiting for a burp, they have stopped feeding him temporary until the stomach goes down.

We did our best to sing him Nursery Rhymes but when we are so emotional it is easy to break into tears. The lyrics of these songs are usually so tender, it just screwed us up at every attempt. Whenever we do cry the nurse tells us to 'Control Yourself'. Its funny she is so sweet and caring but goes militant whenever we bring on the tears. I think she says it so we learn to be stronger for Ben. The singing plays a massive part in our connection with him, as we can only touch him a little bit. Cuddling has been delayed again due to his new situation.

On a more positive note, he looked at us today again, had a bit of a stretch and made a coo noise. Still off the ventilator which is good.

S+P xx

Progress!!!!

2010-08-15T22:48:00.002+10:00

You know it’s funny, you look at all the full term baby’s and they look so big like little Budda’s . Ben will get up to that stage I am sure. Please to say on the 2^nd visit he was blinking and looking around, his eyes where so much more moist and more animation in the face and body in just 24 hours. Must be our singing! 5 verses of Old McDonalds, then another sad attempt at Twinkle Twinkle (must get the words). A killer rendition of Baa Baa Black Sheep and then Goldfrapp Rocket for the finale.

For our 3^rd visit, (today) Benjamin is off the ventilator. Now he is on C-pap , a less intrusive oxygen provider with little prongs that go into his nostrils. Much better than the tube going right down his throat. So Ben has his work cut out for him at the moment doing the breathing by himself. Good to see his lips and mouth too. He is stable, and the wee and poo continues, still on 13mls of formula every 2 hours, and weighing 1.2 kg!!!! If he continues to be stable, tomorrow will be the first day we can hold him for about 5 minutes, can’t wait. I believe he is starting to notice us.

Much better at the Nursery Rhyme’s today, wrote down the lyrics and Sam and I are starting to get more in harmony. He eyes open and does a bit of squirming when we sing. Also he had a tiny cry today, which was great to hear, as he doesn’t have a oxygen tube down his throat, just the feeder for the formula to his stomach.

Sam and I feel a lot stronger today, and want to be strong for him. We are still very concerned at the possibility of blindness, 4 days to go for the results of that, his eyes are still forming, will let you all know as soon as we do!!!!! We are praying he is going to be OK, and seeing the development everyday you can’t help but be inspired.

Hang in there little one, one step at a time.

Phil and Sam xxxxxxx

1st Day in Delhi -We saw Benjamin!!!

2010-08-13T21:06:00.001+10:00

We spent about 90 minutes today with Ben and one of his doctors at the hospital.

So good to see him again and of course a first for Sam. Sam and I was a little shocked when he first saw him. Ben was so motionless and very discoloured, his skin on his stomach was still recovering for extreme stretching. He was was calm and sleeping, though he did eventually move when we stroked him. His arms are so thin and scrawny like a starved chicken, though his legs and feet are fattening up. He now weighs around 1.1kg!

Update on the surgery on his abdomen just 8 days ago (the stomach swelling has gone down by 90%) and didn't know this but he has had to have a temporary ileostomy (That is, his solid waste completely bypasses his large intestines and bowels and comes out on the side of his belly), this has been done to give his large bowel time to recover from the trauma. There will be a further operation to rejoin his bowel in Melbourne when he is 3-4 kg.

Regarding results of the blindness operation, The doctors apparently wont know the outcome of that till next thursday. When we saw him, one of his eyes was scrunched shut and the other all you could see was black which made us panic a little, but the doctor says they are still developing.

Ben is still on some oxygen (20%), but doctors are hoping tomorrow he will be taken off that, . When he is breathing by himself, we will be able to pick him up and hold him for some time every day.

On the positive side, there is no evidence of brain damage. His heart seems very strong. He is now taking formula (13 ml every 2 hours) happily, and passing startling saffron yellow poo.

What’s more the doctor’s current prognosis is that Ben should pull through and while there may be a chance he will be slow in learning, and have some early asthma. He otherwise has every chance of a very normal life.

We held his tiny hand, and wiggled his ear, stroked his head and sang him a few lines of a badly recalled nursery rhyme which petered out after two lines due to foggy memory. Ah new parents!! We promised ourselves we will look up the words to some, so in the coming days we can do better !

Our hotel (a B&B really) is very comfortable, now we are in our proper room (stuff up on first night where we had to just about sleep on the couch, with no bathroom), though it is 40-50 minutes drive from the neonate hospital, which may end up driving Sam mad, see how we go.

Lots of love to Everyone

Sam and Phil xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

little bit of food and is stable

2010-08-11T00:26:00.000+10:00

Now Ben is on the big stuff, Formula that is. He is having a whopping 6mls every 3 hours and it seems to be processing well. All mid range activities going well, stools and urine passing as normal. Good news all round. Ventilator still at 30 % percent, next is to get him off that.

Looking forward to seeing him Friday,

P xxxxxx

More good news

2010-08-09T01:05:00.001+10:00

Benjamin is now fully existing without the Inotropes, so that is a very good thing. Didn't think he would come off them so quickly but there you go ! Also today he was introduced orally water for the first time, and the doctors want to see how he progresses with that.

Regarding all activities mid range, poop and pee, steady as he goes.

Looking forward to getting him off the ventilator, then he will be feeling so much more freedom.

4 Days till we see him, get ready for pictures!!!!!

S + P xxxxxxx

Holding on and Stable

2010-08-08T08:14:00.000+10:00

Passing urine and all that goes with it.

The preventative blindness operation was a success! He is still on artificial nutrients. Oxygen, blood pressure are stable. He continues oxygen support and Inotropes (form of adrenaline). Last night the legs and arms started moving and he is beginning to look around again.

Stable is getting stronger. Prouder by the minute.
Hang in there

Sam and Phil xxxxx

He is holding on.

2010-08-07T09:53:00.000+10:00

After a most horrendous thursday and friday morning, he has kicked in again. Urine passing and a little poop, stable today. He has processed some food in the last 24 hours, which is just wonderful.

Eye specialist will come in, they may operate on Benjamin today to prevent him going blind, more news on that later today. Still being given Iodrops (forgive spelling/mispronunciation), a form of adrenalin to keep him alive and functioning), his ventilator is also on giving him around 30% oxygen.

He is fighting so hard for life, it just reinforces the hope within us. The doctors and nurses have been amazing, talk to them three times a day

Our hope our little man pulls through, we just don't know, it changes from one day to the next.

Sam and I are finally together, as we have been going through this while Sam is traveling around on business. Makes it so much easier to process this together, finally be able to be by Ben side in six days.

Need him to continue to be stable and then recover and hopefully come Home with us!

Thanks for all your love and wishes

P xx

Not good today

2010-08-05T18:54:00.000+10:00

Little Ben stopped passing urine 9 hours ago, his potassium levels are rising which is a bad sign. The doctors say he is unlikely to survive. They have been tremendous but they say Ben is pretty certain to have severe brain damage after having the surgery on his intestine and kidney shutdown, so it is perhaps better that he goes. We are so sad and emotionally drained
We are going over to India next week to be with him and Zac and work out where to go from here.

Sam and Phil

looking up

2010-08-05T03:23:00.001+10:00

Nearly lost him today, its not over yet but Ben is passing more and more Urine, his kidneys are now back and functioning. And his blood and oxygen are at Stable levels, no reports yet on Neurological (brain) damage.

I believe he is going to pull through!

After a few close calls today, the future is looking alot brighter.

Thank you everyone for your love and support.

am exhausted but so very proud of how far he has come.

Phil

Urine!!!! A rebound!

2010-08-04T19:40:00.002+10:00

Today after a long day of post op nightmares including heart troubles, decreasing blood pressure and oxygen levels in his system, Ben had a drop of urine pass through as of half an hour ago. This is good, kidneys are starting to function. Will find out in a couple of hours if any more urine has passed!

Come ON little Man keep fighting!!!!!!!!!!!!

love you

more news

2010-08-04T08:46:00.005+10:00

The surgeon found Extensive patchy gangrene of Ben's colon. They removed a little part of his intestine Ben is at a critical stage, his blood levels and oxygen levels are stable but his urine output is poor. Now his kidneys has stopped working, hopefully he will pass urine in the next hour or so.

Ben went into Surgery

2010-08-04T08:33:00.000+10:00

Sam talked to the doctor while the surgery was under way. They have discovered a few things, he has a hole in his bowels, around this underdeveloped area has been going gang green, so he has had to have some of his bowels removed. How much bowels removed, I don't know. Waiting for more news. Not good at all.

Stable but surgery still a option.

2010-08-03T09:22:00.002+10:00

Ben did another poop yesterday, and is stable. His stomach is still bloated, and may still be operated on today. He is continuing with intravenous artificial nutrients. They want to avoid surgery if possible, one day at a time.

No more news till late tonight.

P

Good News

2010-08-01T20:37:00.000+10:00

Surgery has been postponed by a day because Ben finally did a poo, this is such wonderful news. His stomach is still big so not over yet, but definitely a big step forward. The most important thing is his intestines are starting to work. Oh god, it has been such a roller coaster, I have been freaking out today. I have a feeling in the next few days a lot of nappy changing is in order, I hope so...

so relieved.....

keep it up little one.

Sam Phil xx

Ben is scheduled for surgery

2010-08-01T09:50:00.001+10:00

Ben stomach is now causing major problems, he cannot accept food or nutrients as he is very bloated. The doctors are not sure why his intestines are not processing. X-rays are not lending any more information.

So they need to open up the stomach to have a look and operate if necessary. The doctors think it may be a stricture (a narrowing of the intestines). This is a relatively simple operation and carries a low risk, if the doctors find a stricture, it can be fixed easily and quickly. .

Should have news on the operation later today, there is also a possibility the operation could happen tomorrow.
Time is of the essence here, hang in there little one.

P

Some Good News

2010-07-30T07:44:00.001+10:00

The 2nd run of antibiotics worked and now there is now no detectable bacteria in his blood. The doctor has put him back on food, as he must be hungry by now! His stomach is still very swollen, it could be gas. His breathing has improved and is off the ventilator. So we believe he is back on track!

Everyone has been so supportive, thank you to all.

Sam and Phil xx

Updates on Ben

2010-07-27T09:17:00.002+10:00

Ben has taken a turn for the worse, he has a Bacterial infection in his blood. His body was resistant to the first run on anti-botics to fight this. We will know in the next 48 hours if the second run of anti-botics works. The doctors have now taken him off the intravenous food. His stomach is now very swollen. Once again this situation is connected with his bowels and stomach not being fully developed. Stay strong little one. Lots of prayers, love

P

Two steps forward, one step back.

2010-07-25T10:34:00.000+10:00

Ben (30 weeks old) has stopped digesting his food again. The Doctors believe his stomach and intestines are underdeveloped, so back to the artificial nutrients through a drip. This is a common problem with Premature babies and usually it gets sorted out naturally. 5% of cases turns into serious trouble, so fingers crossed. Also he has gone back onto Ventilation as he was experiencing Apnoea (shortness of breath). Otherwise he is growing.
Thank you G for the pictures, it is wonderful you are there and your taking your little ones out of the hospital on Monday. Can't wait!
Also thank you to everyone who has sent messages, love and support through this blog from all over the world! It means alot to both of us. P xx

Thank you G for the best photo yet!!!

2010-07-23T08:39:00.000+10:00

Ben having a little sneak peak, and looking so much better. Phil xx

New Photo's

2010-07-22T17:43:00.000+10:00

Well Benjamin is back on a little bit of mild ventilation, but he is digesting his food with great success. He opened his eyes today. He is starting to move about a bit more! They have now had to introduce the head cushions to keep him attached to the ventilator, hopefully won't need much longer. P xx

More Good News

2010-07-21T10:51:00.000+10:00

Benjamin is off ventilation and is now breathing by himself, which is fantastic news! Once again good for circulation and development and one less tube (a rather invasive one) to deal with. Also he has been given food yesterday (for the first time in four days) and hopefully tummy and bowels are processing that as I write! Very proud News on that later.

latest on Benjamin

2010-07-18T22:15:00.000+10:00

We both forgot to announce that Benjamin was born on the 4th of July! Latest good news is that his bowels look like they are going to function normally without surgery, so he will start again on food in 12 hours. He has already started to put on weight with IV feeding and is now 880 grams, though a long way to go yet. (He will need to be well over 2kg before he can come home)
Ben's breathing is getting stronger, so he needs less ventilation now.
Still too early for Kangaroo Care (skin-to-skin contact) from his eager dads.

latest on Benjamin

2010-07-17T16:34:00.000+10:00

also today he had a brain scan, all clear there. Breathing better today, ventilator has been decreased now all we need him to do is eat to move forward.

Having problems with finding the right accommodation over in Delhi for 2 months, the commonwealth games aren't helping.

Pxx

latest on Benjamin

2010-07-17T16:30:00.000+10:00

Benjamin is stable, his chest valve has no closed finally (a good thing), hopefully proper chest circulation will now hopefully start a chain reaction in the rest of his body. He hasn't been digesting food for the last 4 days, his tummy is full but it stops there, so they have got him on artificial nutrients. Tonight we will find out if he is accepting food again. All of Bens problems have been common for preemies thus far, but concerning none the less. The list of what he is going through and what he may be up against is exhausting. He has a few more hurdles in front but I believe he is getting stronger everyday. He is so small you can actually see his heart beating. At the moment he is around 850 grams and losing weight, originally 950 grams. I was only allowed to Pat him on the head as he has no immunity to germs at all. The staff and doctors have just been amazing over there, Ben has a nurse to himself, quite the ladies Man!!!!! I get to talk to the Doctor every night. Australian High Commission in India have finally kicked in and are now going out to visit and help with all administration, and anything else that pops up, they have been amazing.

Here are some pics of Ben and his environment, he looks a bit like a scrawny cat with no hair. But is getting more colour.

He has long legs and big feet just like Sam. He has two aussie premie mates in the next room Elektra and Eros so that's nice his has some friends. We will return to Delhi in mid to late august and stay there for approximately two months for lots of kangaroo cuddles with us.

http://www.pipa.org.au/kangaroo-care/

Then hopefully bring him home once he is 2kg.

Sam and I are OK, feel stronger this week, last week was a mess.

Zac will be cremated in Delhi when we return and we will bring his ashes home. Poor little man.

So proud to be a Dad.

Love to you all

Phil xx

p.s the newspaper is completely sterilised ! A lot of people are freaking about the newspaper.