At 6.30am today, Wednesday 18th August, Benjamin passed away.
He spent an hour with his Dads the night before where we stood and sang every song from our new songbook we printed. He was almost motionless the entire time, like he wasn't there. We each gave him our first and last kiss on the forehead, which was the warmest most heartening & beautiful thing I think both of us has ever experience.
Love you Ben
Very Proud of how far you have come.
Rest in Peace little one.
Your Dads
Sam and Phil
I am so sorry. It's my birthday today on top of it. I am keeping your precious baby boy in my prayers. I sent many prayers and hoped they did their job.
ReplyDeleteHugs from BC
hey guys... sorry to hear about Ben. Our thoughts are with you guys xxx
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to read this. You are both in our thoughts and prayers. Kim
ReplyDeleteDear Zach and Ben. You have made your fathers so proud and have given the world so much inspiration. You did not shine. You blazed. Rest in peace, little guys. Your hard work here is done. x x
ReplyDeleteOh boys, I am so, so sorry. You have been so steadfast and brave. Ben was blessed to have two such determined, smart and compassionate parents in his difficult journey.
ReplyDeleteI'm just devasted for you all. I was full of hope that it would work out so differently.
Also I'm so sorry this is the first you're hearing from me directly. I have been reading every post here and thinking of you every day, but hadn't taken the time to tell you so.
Keith and I both send our love, admiration and condolences.
Love, Amanda
I am so sorry, Sam and Phil. I have been hoping and wishing so hard for Ben. I am glad you were with him when he died, I am sure he knew how much he was loved.
ReplyDeleteThere are no words! Just love x
ReplyDeleteDear Sam & Phil,
ReplyDeleteBoth of you and your boys are in our thoughts and prayers. We will go to church tonight and light candles for both Ben and Zac,
our sincere condolences,
CC & John
Dear Sam & Phil,
ReplyDeleteMay you have the strength to get through this and take comfort in the knowledge that there are many strangers around the world mourning with you for your precious boys.
You are in my thoughts.x
Deb
I am so sorry Sam and Phil, i have hoped everyday for Ben.
ReplyDeleteNo words can comfort you after losing both of your precious boys.
You are all in my thoughts
Mary
Dear Sam and Phil,
ReplyDeleteI am so very very sorry and sad and upset and I have so few words. Bob and I have been crying and praying today for you and your beautiful sons.
So much love, if there is anything we can do please never hesitate to ask.
xxxx
You are in our thoughts........ We are so sorry for your loss
ReplyDeleteDear Sam and Phil,
ReplyDeleteI was so sad to read about your loss of your beautiful boys. I have been praying for you and was so excited when Ben seemed to be getting better.
I have also lost twin boys and it is something that you would never wish upon anyone. The heartache is unbearable. Take care of each other during this time, it does eventually get a little easier as the months go pass. Remember that Ben and Zac's lives were a source of inspiration across the world and you are not alone in your grief. xxx fellow friend downunder.
No words can take away the pain you both must be feeling. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
ReplyDeleteLove Olivia
Just too sad and not fair, after the fight both of you made.
ReplyDeleteBen, rest in peace
I'm so so sorry for your losses. This is heartbreaking. You've been in my thoughts every day since I found this blog, and will still be.
ReplyDeleteRest in peace little brave Ben and Zac. You have given so much inspiration to this world, you've made a big difference.
Hugs and love from Lindy
Dear friends, both old and new around the world,'
ReplyDeleteYour love, tears, hope and support have comforted both Phil and I hugely over the last six weeks. I am humbled to realise there is so much love and compassion out there. When we are stronger, we will try again, but we will not forget our boys and the love they engendered
We are so pleased we have been able to both be here in Delhi to both welcome and farewell Ben.
With love
Sam Everingham
New Delhi
We are deeply saddened by your loss. With you, we cherish the memories of the very brief time that Ben and Zac graced the earth. Thank you for sharing your children and their brave story. Love is immortal!
ReplyDeleteSincere condolences to you and your loved ones.
Love,
Paul & Edward
I am so sorry to hear about poor Benjamin. We had prayed so much with others for him and for you. I will continue to keep you all in my prayers and little Zac as well. Ben in his short time touched alot of lives. Sincere condolences to both of you Karen
ReplyDeleteGod bless all of you
ReplyDeleteIan
No words, I am sad, I am sorry:(
ReplyDeleteSam and Phil, we are saddened to hear about the loss of you precious sons, Zac and Benjamin. Our sincere condolences. You are in our thoughts and prayers. Peter and Brad.
ReplyDeleteI am very sorry for your losses. I've been following since a friend shared the link. Thank you for sharing your story.
ReplyDeleteDear Sam & Phil,
ReplyDeleteWe are both so very sad for you and your tremendous loss. We will pray for your continued strength and support over the coming weeks.
We are so very, very sad to hear this news.
Johnny & Darren
Dear Sam & Phil,
ReplyDeleteMay you find comfort in the special memories that you have of your beautiful son.Right now you have that ache that gnaws your heart.
Find comfort in each other through these long days and sleepless nights,my thoughts and love are with you both.
Natalia xx
Oh Sam and Phil...we were so sorry to hear about Ben. Please know you both are in our thoughts and prayers!!!
ReplyDeleteRest in peace boys. I'm sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteDear Phil & Sam, our hearts ache for your losses of both your tiny little boys Zac and Ben. You both will remain in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteRenee&Paul
through my tears i want to offer my condolences. your little boy was strong and once he had a chance to exchange feelings of love with the two of you he is now able to share that love with his brother zac in heaven. may they rest in peace and you go in peace
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry! May both boys rest in eternal peace. I have been following your link since we are also expecting twins via surrogacy in India. As parents who lost our only child two years ago, I pray you both find strength and courage to move forward.
ReplyDeletePhil and Sam, it was so sad to hear the news today. Little Ben was a real fighter. All the best for the future.
ReplyDeleteThere are no words to describe the loss and pain you have both endured. While brief, Benjamin's time was full of your love. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteMike and Mike
I am so terribly sorry for your loss. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteSitting with tears in my eyes reading your post. Feeling so much, compassion, grief, feelings of despair and a little bit angry!
ReplyDeleteIt is so unfair, you have endored so much!
I felt awful when we lost our twinboys in week 24. I can´t imagine the thougts going through your mind right now. You have been with him, seeing him getting better - worse and then better.
If you have the strenght to make a new attempt! I will be the first to wish you good luck!
Take time...
Sending hugs all the way from Sweden!
Love / Fredrik
So very sorry for you guys. You couldn't have been more positive and supportive during the entire thing.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs from Chicago.
I am so very sorry for the loss of your boys. Please know, that you'll be in our thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeletexo, Tracy
I'm very sorry for your loss. Ben and Zach are now resting with the angels. May God give you the strength, hold on to each other during this terrible time. My prayers are with you and again you are not along, we are all here for you.
ReplyDeleteFindinghope
I am new, just today, to your Site and Life and am coming in right at the wrong time. My heart is breaking for you and I am so sorry.
ReplyDeleteI will give my kids some extra kisses tonight in Ben and Zach's honor.
Mark
No words to describe this.
ReplyDeleteJust know there is so much love for you all at this time.
Sam and Phil, I am sorry to hear this heart breaking news. My condolences to both of you. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteSam, is there a charity in Delhi (or elsewhere) which we could donate to in honour of Ben and Zac? Something you feel would help other children born too early?
ReplyDeleteDear Zac and Ben,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your lives with all of us however brief. I feel honored to have known you through the stories posted here. May you find peace and comfort in the hereafter. Please look in on your dads once in awhile and bless them both.
Love always,
TJ
Dear friends and followers
ReplyDeleteReading all your comments makes me weep, which I'm not sure is good or bad for me.
I am sitting alone in our Delhi guesthouse as the monsoon rains flood the streets outside, waiting.... (THings in Delhi take a long time to happen) Tonight Zac's body will be delivered to us. Tomorrow we take him to the funeral people where he will be reunited with Ben.
Our hearts and prayers go out to you and your family. While your boys' lives were short, they inspired us with their spirits. And you inspire us with your love and compassion.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing.
Hi Sam and Phil,
ReplyDeleteI am so, so sorry. What heartbreaking news. I know there's nothing anyone can say right now to ease the pain, but just know that you have people thinking about you around the world.
Having lost a child myself, I can relate to your pain. My thoughts are with your family. This is probably the saddest thing I have read in quite some time. I hope that you and your partner will find peace someday. There will be many rough moments ahead but allow yourselves to grieve and process the hurt and anger you are feeling.
ReplyDeleteHanna L. from Tel Aviv
how lovely that you both got to be fathers to two beautiful boys. that will never ever change. you are forever daddies. and your babies will always be with you.
ReplyDeleteplease know that the horribly torn apart feeling you have right now will lessen, and you will find a way to live again. please know that the road you face will not be an easy one, and that you may take different paths, but never forget the love that drove you to create your babies and that you will always be united through them.
thinking of you and lighting a candle for your gorgeous boys tonight.
xoxo
lis
My heart breaks for you both ... but what a beautiful leave-taking you've given us. It's moments like this that we can only believe that every soul is meant to touch us, no matter how long their time on earth. Ben and Zach will be with you forever, and you will always be their daddies. Sending you hugs from across the world.
ReplyDeleteSam and Phil, you do not know me, but I have been following your blog recently and have had your son Ben in my thoughts. I am so very sorry to read that Ben has joined his wee brother Zach. Such a tragic loss for you both, I can only imagine the pain you are feeling. Please know you are both in my thoughts as are your little angels. So sad.
ReplyDeleteJennette
So very sorry for the loss of your boys. Obviously no words can capture the devastation you must be going through. They will be with you always and their story has touched many around the world, as you have read. Sending hugs from Brooklyn, NY.
ReplyDeleteI am so so very sorry for your loss. Words are not enough, but know that people are holding you (and your sons) in their hearts.
ReplyDeleteMy heart breaks for you both as you mourn the loss of your sweet baby boy. Sending love and healing your way.
ReplyDelete~here from LFCA~
I am so very sorry for your loss - for both of them. My heart breaks for both of you.
ReplyDeleteWith sympathy for your loss.
ReplyDelete(Here from LFCA) I'm so very sorry for your loss of your two precious boys. Praying for you for peace and comfort during this very difficult time.
ReplyDeleteHere from LFCA. I am truly sorry for your loss. Holding you and your boys in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteDear Phil and Sam,
ReplyDeleteWe are so sorry to hear of your loss of Ben. You both have done such an amazing job in being strong and beautiful nurturing parents.
Your little angels have flown upon beautiful strong wings through knowing you both as their Dads.
Lots of Love,
Nicky and Tim xxxx
Sam I think it's very important and good thing to be able to weep. We all are doing it with you (and in case you wonder, it was me who submitted your blog to LFCA, i hope you don't mind...) Many people now know your boys and continue to pray for them and you
ReplyDeleteOh guys so so sorry to hear Ben didn't make it, I really thought he would, he must have needed to be an angel with his brother.
ReplyDeleteSo glad Sam got to meet the little guy and that Ben felt the love in your warm kisses.
We have lit a candle to help light his way.
Im here when you fancy a chat... All our Love Kristelle, Colin & Archie xxx